Safe

I'm tired of living in a country where trust does not exist.

In a country where pity is an option; where every person is a speculated thief; where floods are higher than the moral grounds; and where conscience is only a feather floating next to the giants of desire and greed, I do not want to live.

To live as if safety was only a dream, to never have the chance to take your camera out to take photos of the streets with freedom; to always have the fear of danger anywhere you go - this is the unconscious side of the Philippines.

We barely notice that we're already living in a society with no place of security - that even in your sleep in the confines of the walls of your own home; you think that the robbers, the midnight murderers, the Akyat-Bahay gang would possibly kick that door and take all of your possessions.

Because that's how we were brought up to be - people who are unable to assume that people can be 100% good. It's not even an exaggeration. My dad used to say that when you dine at a fast food chain; you'd be thinking that the people sitting next to you could possibly get your bag out of sight. Little do you know that those people think the same of you too. Welcome to reality.

I'm not saying that people have no right to doubt. The high crime rates and personal retelling of heinous undertakings could turn any citizen's view of the country upside down. We are so used to the system that all we do is protect what is ours and separate ourselves from the side that we do not trust. And that includes almost everyone.

I do not want my children and their children to live in this kind of system. As much as I would want to see the Philippines and its people as all good, I couldn't bear to do so because that would only mean deceiving myself from the truth just like everyone else. This is not the country I want to live in.

But something instilled in me can't possibly leave it for greener pastures. I can't see myself living in prosperity in the land of another with my own looking as dark and dreary as the clouds on top of it. I cannot leave my country in this state. I was made a Filipino for a reason; an idealist for another. Yet that should not just be about belief. The fusion of the two - nationalistic idealism - believes that change is not only possible, but should and shall be done.

My country needs people who can be trusted. I will change it by showing them that there still exist those who are willing to change the system.

I'm tired of living in this country. But I will not need a plane to depart from this place.