I am officially an ogre.
It just feels so surreal. I'm writing this not as a 'journey' post or something similar, but just as the proof that I am not dreaming. Seriously, this morning was like waking up from a dream and realizing that yes, we have graduated from high school and are now alumnae. I just honestly can't believe it. Yesterday was like the ultimate end to it all and I'm still in a state of denial that I'm leaving AA.
I was in the hallways by the labs and I looked back the last time I walked on that path. I was telling myself, "This was home." Then a second after I turned around, I could not stop myself from turning back and saying, "No, this is home."
AA is home. It still doesn't sink in that I've left it already. I wish that someday, in some way, I may be able to fully grasp this reality and allow myself to embrace not being in AA anymore with joyful detachment and the trust that God knows the next step of the journey.
I just can't convince myself that it is true. This post will be longer and filled with many other declarations of denial, but let me end this by telling you that I am neither Shrek or Fiona. I'm an AA Old Girl. A graduate. An alumna. The world will go on and I still have not realized it.
This probably will be my last post here, too. It may be an abrupt goodbye, but as with Grad, the gravity still hasn't begun to pierce through my unusually pusong bato. Adieux, and thank you.
It just feels so surreal. I'm writing this not as a 'journey' post or something similar, but just as the proof that I am not dreaming. Seriously, this morning was like waking up from a dream and realizing that yes, we have graduated from high school and are now alumnae. I just honestly can't believe it. Yesterday was like the ultimate end to it all and I'm still in a state of denial that I'm leaving AA.
I was in the hallways by the labs and I looked back the last time I walked on that path. I was telling myself, "This was home." Then a second after I turned around, I could not stop myself from turning back and saying, "No, this is home."
AA is home. It still doesn't sink in that I've left it already. I wish that someday, in some way, I may be able to fully grasp this reality and allow myself to embrace not being in AA anymore with joyful detachment and the trust that God knows the next step of the journey.
I just can't convince myself that it is true. This post will be longer and filled with many other declarations of denial, but let me end this by telling you that I am neither Shrek or Fiona. I'm an AA Old Girl. A graduate. An alumna. The world will go on and I still have not realized it.
This probably will be my last post here, too. It may be an abrupt goodbye, but as with Grad, the gravity still hasn't begun to pierce through my unusually pusong bato. Adieux, and thank you.
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