It's my first day of surviving my new-found goal. I plan to strive hard to for the rest of the school year, especially because whatever this is (may it be an attachment disorder or what), I know it's affecting her and I can't just let what we have be affected by it. I know anxious clinging destroys relationships, and even though I would want to get over the attachment soon, I would want to maintain that relationship because at least I would have her to run to when I need someone, but not everyday, because sometimes, I find myself creating inexistent problems for my mind to solve just because I want her to see that I need her. It's getting quite ridiculous, especially because I know that she still has a lot more to do than to talk to a miserable kid like me. I would want to talk to her about my new love - philosophy - sometime, but for now, I'll keep this blah blah to this blog and to myself.
What's harder sometimes is the fact that the way I view certain people is somehow connected to that attachment that my perception of reality becomes corrupted by what my mind thinks is true. Interpersonal relationships with other people were put to test, and even my own moral compass - which used to be so stable, went haywire during the past months, and it's becoming something that I couldn't control, so I knew I have to set limits as to where I should put myself in. It's not going to be overnight, and I believe I can't completely shake off that connection with her, but she's a friend who will never be gone, and I think that's all that I need to be assured about. All else is merely a product of my mind.
Edit: It's 11/11/11! Not so psyched about it, but I'm not going to be so hypocritical as to say that I don't believe in such mumbo-jumbo, so here's to tell you that I did wish earlier at 11:11 am! I'm quite happy about that. Wishing again later at 11:11 pm. Hehehe.
What's harder sometimes is the fact that the way I view certain people is somehow connected to that attachment that my perception of reality becomes corrupted by what my mind thinks is true. Interpersonal relationships with other people were put to test, and even my own moral compass - which used to be so stable, went haywire during the past months, and it's becoming something that I couldn't control, so I knew I have to set limits as to where I should put myself in. It's not going to be overnight, and I believe I can't completely shake off that connection with her, but she's a friend who will never be gone, and I think that's all that I need to be assured about. All else is merely a product of my mind.
Edit: It's 11/11/11! Not so psyched about it, but I'm not going to be so hypocritical as to say that I don't believe in such mumbo-jumbo, so here's to tell you that I did wish earlier at 11:11 am! I'm quite happy about that. Wishing again later at 11:11 pm. Hehehe.
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