Hi

I hope you don't mind seeing my socks. Heehee. Absolutely arbitrary, just like thinking of writing this post. I told myself I won't stop writing until my dad calls me that he'll pick me up. All right. Let's get it rolling.

I'm wearing pink ones now; those blues have gone to the laundry box. They still have circles and colors, though. I think they came together as a set when I bought them. But I like the blue ones better. They're a lot more pleasing to the eyes. I think it's because I like blue better than pink. (Hello, Professor Umbridge, it is your fault why I totally detest the color).

I don't really know why I'm here or why I'm writing this post at 11 in the evening. I guess I just miss having things due or being productive just for the sake of it. I have several posts pending in my list but I have no plans to finish them yet. Necessity does not call. Or not audibly enough, in case it does.

Sometimes, I just miss school so much. Sometimes, I think of being homeschooled. But more often than those, I think of college. I really have no idea how it would be (and maybe that's a good thing). I've been hearing vague descriptions of it, much like how it was before high school; but now, I'm just very, very uncertain. Isn't it good to have a little bit of fear of the future? That way, you'd have at least a sense of obligation to being responsible to where your life is heading. But whatever. I'll get there when I get there.

Uncertainty aside, I'm really excited about college. I'm actually more craving than afraid. The whole new world concept fascinates me so much that I feel like fast-forwarding my Senior Year so I get to June 2013 fast. But life doesn't work like that, I guess. Senior Year still has lots and lots to give me and it's totally unfair to assume that tomorrow is better than today, especially when you're blessed with so much. College will come when I'm ready.

Corona's trial has been progressing fruitfully and although the audience's interest has somehow been subdued by the hibernation it has undergone, it is unfolding as I think it should. I loved the bickering between Atty. Cuevas and Ombudsman Morales. It was a joyful foreshadowing of what court trials will be in case I do end up to be a lawyer. I've been thinking a lot about it too. Not giving up, no. I guess it's just right for me. It's a very flexible profession, you see. You're a lawyer, but you're free to do everything else this world offers. And one more thing I love about the profession is that in Law, you read, write, speak, and think for a living.

That doesn't prove true as much for the other professions. Believe me, I've seen them work, it doesn't.

I'm getting sleepy. My father told me to drink water when sleep is calling me. I don't really know if it's true, but I'm too lazy to brew tea right now and I swore never to drink coffee unless in desperate times. Yes, drinking coffee is a dangerous measure. I still believe in that myth that coffee hinders your growth spurt, and I'm seriously aiming for at least 5'6''. Yes, I know, I'm that short. No need to rub it in like my brother does; he who has large hands and height three years ahead of his age. It's not my fault I don't get enough sleep. All right, maybe it is my fault, but I don't want to think about that now. I've got enough faults to deal with.

I might drink water when I finish this post. The doctor says it's good for me too. So is sleep. But not coffee. Coffee is bad for children. Yes, I often think of myself still as a child at sixteen. Someone once told me that I can never outgrow my childlike idiosyncrasies. I hope it's still long before growing up time. The world looks darker and cumbersome when I feel like growing up. That's most of the time, actually. That's when life looks so hard to understand and I feel so sad and afraid. I wish I could grow up and mature gradually, not by forcing or slowing it down.

Will chocolate keep me awake? I just remembered my M&Ms in the fridge. I think it'll just make me hyper and write all sorts of weird things on this blog. But sometimes I wish I could write all the weird things my brain comes up with here without their bursting like bubbles before I can actually call them a thought. Let me give you a photo. Yes, a photo. Let me choose. And no chocolate for me tonight.

It's a door. It's still facing me now, actually. Just in a different angle. It's closed. Nay, more work for me to get my water. :( It's been long since I promised myself water. But this post seems never ending. It will end, I know it will. Sooner or later, I'd either be in my dad's car or drooling on my pillow. I think I'm even half-asleep now.

Water. Where is water when you need it? I just finished browsing through the CBTL Tea Guide. I'm craving for a cup right now. One English Breakfast with milk. And a slice of cheesecake. Yes, cheesecake. I love cheese. I love cheese so much I actually vowed to eat all the kinds of cheeses in the world someday. It will happen. If it's possible with chocolate, then more so with cheese.

I've been looking at people's random photos on Facebook. Yes, your photos, whoever is reading this. (insert evil laugh here) Just wish it's not you because well, it's just not fun to have your photos looked at by some random half-asleep weirdo who thinks of not sleeping at all ten minutes before 1. And are you seriously still up? If you were in a different country like I am, maybe that would be reasonable. Sometimes I wonder about such things - about why people spend so much time doing practically nothing worth the while. And then you come up with some adage about (insert interesting blah blah here). But sometimes, that person turns out to be me, and so I stop wondering. But it's weird when people who normally don't suddenly turn into that. I'm sorry, I think it's just the lack of sleep affecting my brain.

Anyway, while I was looking at people's photos, I tried looking for my face in them. Well, I'm certainly not the kind who likes her picture taken, but just to pass time, I tried. But I found close to none, even just in the background. (Oh, I could've looked at the tagged photos instead and find tons of my face in there, right? Not really.) I think I was meant to see all those without me.  

Where was I when it was taken? I don't know. I really don't know. Sometimes, I remember; sometimes, I don't. But I guess most of time, I'm not anywhere near whoever holds the camera was. That made me think, really. Am I supposed to be where everybody is? To actually have something happy to hold on to when time passes. As much as I don't remember being where I was, I don't regret anything either. I think God meant for those to happen to lead me to where I am now, and maybe we can't turn back time, but we just have to believe that no matter how it all turned out to be, it was time well spent.

"You said to us once before," said Hermione quietly, "that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"

 I just remembered that. :) Whether it was supporting, contradicting, or totally unrelated to what I said; I don't think I care. I just like what she said in that.

Hermione Granger is one of my greatest role models. I think it's mostly because I can identify the most with her. That's how it all begins. But yes, I do find a bit of myself in her, and her struggles were similar to mine. I just need to find my Ron and Harry. I'll find my own Golden Trio one day. In the topic of friends, I feel like I'm not looking for anyone anymore. I'll just try to make the most out of everyone around me, but I really am tired of trying to look for the ideal in friends because it's never really going to work like that.

But so far, I haven't found many who worked even in the normal friendship system. I just think your true friends are those who can really get on with you no matter what you say or do or simply are. They won't demand for anything other than what you can give and that what one side gives is enough for the other. Or someone who knows you so well that they would remind you of what you are and what you like even when you forget and feel so lost. They're the weirdos in your head who laugh with you and tell you the truth and it won't hurt; it'll only seem funny. Sometimes, I think of it and wonder how good it feels to have people like that in your life. I only hope in the fact that God has planned something for me even in the friend department. My mates are just waiting to be found. :)

Now, I'm not thinking of anything but water. I feel like I've poured out all my brain's musings into this one long post. Still not stopping, though. The Force is still with me. Yoda says so.

I just remembered, if anyone who reads this wants to make me extremely happy I'd jump off a bridge with glee, get me a Darth Vader or a Stormtrooper mask. Yes, it just tickles my fancy nowadays to gather collectibles from the things I love. I feel like it comes with a few years from being away from the minor complex. I'll soon own things that are really mine. Darth Vader or Stormtrooper. These are the masks you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along.

I'lll tell you about my Doha escapades soon. It's been really fun here and I couldn't have asked for a better summer place. Also started working with my Core yesterday. Amazingly responsible and happy people I'm looking forward to work with. It's going to be a fun, fun year with these guys. 

Trust that God has planned all that is, has been, and will be in your life and you'll be all right. Maybe that's what I need to keep playing in my mind forever. My God is greater than all that is in my life. He is the Emperor of my soul, and only He should lead the way. It may be hard, but it will be the best way possible.

I'm planning to learn Spanish. I don't know how, where, and when. But I'm tired of hearing Messi's interviews without understanding anything unless there are subtitles as if he was from some alien world whose words are of a different wavelength. I have got to start learning Spanish. It's fun to say you're multilingual too. You can have an entire United Nations conversation all in your head.

My dad just told me he's coming to pick me up in a few minutes. Let me wrap this up before it gets too long (isn't it yet?) Well, thank you for keeping me company tonight. I guess I still have to find someone to listen to my rambles like you did, but I really appreciated it that you kept me awake and thinking for three hours. I'm really happy for what I wrote above. I guess I have the whole day tomorrow to read it. It's not much, but it kept me happy for a while; and it was worth it. But this isn't the end of my happiness, not yet. I'll be touring my dad's workplace in a while. WOOPEE! (Imagine me saying that. It's really fun to say. Much like BAZINGA. Oh, Sheldon. You are one genius of my fictional world.)

...that weird Eureka moment when you don't really have anything figured out. You just feel like saying Eureka.

All right, less and less sleep for me. But it was nice being here. Thank you. God bless this creation. :) Adios.