Retrospect

Being in our first quarter seating arrangements, the ledges and the window were next to me. We were taking our Chemistry test, and while everyone was trying to rack their brains to find answers to the questions about periodic trends and electron configuration, I was sitting there, looking as passive as ever, staring at everything that I can possibly see.

The reason why I finished early is not because I was so good in Chem. It was just that I knew I couldn't do anything to improve my answers, because I just answered what I knew, and I don't care that much about the score I'll get. "I'll get what I deserve" was what was ringing in my head at that time.

As my eyes wandered to the wide open spaces in the classroom, I was making a constant effort not to look at her. I don't know why, but I feel like if I do and I find her looking back, it would be so hard to look away without her noticing. (Yes, I'm so sorry, but I think like that.) After a few minutes of looking at everything inside the classroom, I decided to check out the weather, which was not looking good. I wondered why it hasn't rained. 

Suddenly, the world outside the window meant so much to me. It seemed like it signified freedom, something outside what we are allowed to see. I knew the feeling would not be the same if I were sitting in my 2nd quarter seating place on the other side. I analyzed every single detail - the leaves, the red spinning things on top of the Penthouse, the curtains in the Computer Room a floor below ours, and the Penthouse Jalousie windows.

"Happy Birthday ______! I ♡ U BRAD! Love, _______"

That was the first thing I saw when I looked at the Penthouse windows, and it made me smile, because among the other things I saw, it was the only thing that I had full knowledge about the origin. 

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It was a Tuesday afternoon, a day before the day. My co-representative and I were both sitting on stage after my very disastrous rehearsal. I was still quite flustered because how I just performed in front of Miss was so disappointing. Minutes ago, Miss was with us, but she had to go because she had a scheduled class. We were alone and restless, so we decided to go find something to do to let pass the time. 

I knew our section was taking the Chem MQT at that time so it was really a pleasure for me to look at them while they were taking the test, knowing that I don't have to take it on that same day. We waved at each other, after a while, it was beginning to bore us. My companion found something to do in the task of utilizing the dust on the louvers of the windows to produce her birthday message for her friend. It started as a joke, but soon, as I retired to the stage to continue practicing, every single window in that side of the Penthouse was filled with her very entertaining lines. I couldn't help looking at every single one of them, because at least they helped ease the tension.

That was the day when I went to school shaking. Even though I was pulled out the whole day, I knew there wasn't enough time if I really want to make things go great on the day. I was just so thankful to have her as a co-representative because she made it seem that I am not alone in feeling all the anxiety and tension. After a few times of repeating my speech in my head, she finally came near me and we had a short talk about what to expect the day after - competing schools, how many they are, and what we were supposed to expect. We ran out of things to talk about, so we did our second favorite thing to do - sleeping. We slept on the stage in very disoriented positions without even caring about being in our uniforms as if there was no such thing as poise. And the rest was history.

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After that short recollection, I found myself still in the classroom with my Chem QT in my hands. I wanted so badly to go to my former companion's classroom right now and tell her what I remembered, but I knew it wouldn't register in her mind the same way it would in mine. However, there was one more thing I observed.

It was the only window left with the caption. The other windows were now blank, without any trace of the lines at all. Maybe they were erased, but if they were, why were the writings on that window left there?

Time - it was just simply that. There was no required explanation about how they were erased. It was just that time passed, and things aren't supposed to stay forever. Even that "happy birthday" message on that window would soon be gone after a period of time - days, weeks, months? It doesn't matter. It would be gone, and the time it was there doesn't mean anything, because soon, the people who knew of its existence would leave the school, and the students of the next batches wouldn't even know it was there.

Does time really erase memories of things slowly to make room for others in our minds? Is permanence really required to leave a legacy? How much does it take to be remembered - if not forever, then at least for a long time?